5 ways to clean your ass on travel


1. The hole and the water bucket (India)

As I was saying, I started around the world in India and after spending a couple of days in Delhi I left for the mountains of Himachal Pradesh, specifically to a town called Flea. More than a town, it was a small village where an Irish friend of mine named Nicole had been installed for some time. It was a good idea to run away from the heat and humidity of India in the month of August and protect yourself at the foot of the Himalayas. Logically it was a recommendation of Nicole, an expert in moving around India. Also, since he planned to tour the country for a couple of months, it was best to adapt to new ways of doing in a quiet and relaxed environment.

Shortly after arriving in Pulga, staying in a kind of cabin belonging to a family residing in the village, like any neighbor's son, it was time to visit the bathroom. After following the indications, about 50 meters from where the cabin was located I found a door. I opened it and in front of me they expected a simple hole and a bucket of water to help me meet my needs as hygienically as possible. Just like that, do what you have to do and use the water and your hand.

Some time later I discovered that in India men greet each other with their left hands. There was no need for anyone to explain why.

2. The water gun (Thailand)

After 2 and a half months traveling through India I arrived in Bangkok and in a way I had a kind of feeling of returning to civilization. I am in love with India, but it is a real chaos. Thailand had a lot of surprises reserved for me, including their water guns.

It is a kind of hose located right next to the toilet that will help you get rid of the remains that you did not manage to undo during your willful efforts. I found it a really sophisticated and refreshing system to clean your ass.

3. The water gun and shower (Thailand)

In Koh Tao I think I came to perfect the art of crap and go out completely unpolluted after finishing the task. During the 3 weeks I was on the island I stayed in a bungalow whose bathroom I calculate would make just over 2 square meters. The shower was composed of a simple tap attached to the wall about 2 meters high; there was no curtain or anything like that, so showering the water flooded every corner of the bathroom.

One day, finding myself sitting in the toilet, it occurred to me to start the shower to combat the tremendous tropical heat that hindered my efforts; the “crap-refreshing” was just born, one of the greatest innovations of body hygiene: clean on the outside while cleaning on the inside.

4. The conventional method (Australia)

After spending four months in Asia touring countries like India, Cambodia, Nepal and Thailand, I arrived in Australia and without realizing it until I tried to haggle with the supermarket cashier.

It was clear that I needed a couple of days to readjust and adapt to the new (?) Ways of doing. But there was someone who would help me quickly relocate to familiar terrain: the toilet paper roll.

Yes, after 4 months between buckets and water guns I cleaned my ass again as I had done all my life. Arriving in Australia was like returning home.

5. Toilet paper and basketball (South America)

After 6 months (4 months in Asia and 2 more traveling through Australia and New Zealand) I arrived in South America, specifically Chile. Fuck, I wanted to speak in Spanish and be able to communicate without complications. Everything was familiar to me. I was finally going to be able to poop in peace. No, there was still one last modality to discover as far as what to clean your ass is concerned: instead of throwing the toilet paper into the toilet you have to have it in a bin. Well, nothing to shit and play basketball.

Anyway, as always, wherever you go do what you see or what they tell you.